Utopia --> Past Advice

Play funny jokes on the IRS. See what happens when you answer 'None of Your Business' in a blank.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is!

A penny saved is ridiculous.

Ask everyone you meet today if they are the Neon Chicken. You'll make a nice first impression.

Be anti-social today. What has society given you lately?

See if you can get pigs to fly. Just think of all the things that would happen if you succeeded!

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Love is in the air. So is the cold. Watch out, I don't know which is worse.

Be different than everyone else today. Walk on the ceiling.

Live today as if it were your last. Visit the Post Office nearest you.

Have stores pay you NOT to promote their wares while wearing a chicken suit

Modems are really evil tempermental aliens masquerading as innocent machines. Their true plan is to not work only at the times you need to be online.

Play Russian Roulette with your computer. Close your eyes, and drag a random file into the recycle bin. It adds a bit of spice to your otherwise dull life.